Compliments are empowering but should never be needed.
I have had my fair share of self-consciousness to the point that I wouldn’t even step out of my room for not wanting to be seen for the way I felt or looked. To this day I still hold insecurities, but here’s what has changed differently.
Before, I needed someone to tell me I was beautiful in order for me to get myself back up, or to truly believe it. But now, whenever I feel a doubt about my beauty, I snap myself out of it, and take control because, I don’t need a compliment from someone to help with my confidence anymore.
Try not to misunderstand my point. I actually encourage people to give compliments, but if compliments are the only thing that can get our self-confidence back, then we become slaves to compliments, better yet, dependent on them. The moment we know the beauty within ourselves even before compliments (but still accept them), that is when you are no longer dependent on compliments.
You don’t need your friend to tell you that “he’s not good enough for you” or that “it’s his loss” and you don’t need your boyfriend to tell you, “you’re prettier than her” or “you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever known” and you definitely don’t need your parents telling you that “you are beautiful no matter what”, because you should already know and believe that you are beautiful, and you shouldn’t need your boyfriend putting other people down in order to boost your confidence. And guess what. Even after the compliments that make us feel giddy, we still either end up disregarding or just not believing them, therefore, I don’t see a point in depending on them in the first place. Compliments are always nice to hear, but will never fulfill that emptiness we feel, or change our uncertainty about our beauty.
But I’m here to tell you that you are beautiful (even if you don’t believe me) and you definitely don’t need me telling you this to build your poise. Once you’re a slave to compliments, you become reliant on everyone’s perceptions and have so much care for what people think of you, which would consume your life entirely. Your life shouldn’t be dependent on what people think of you because frankly, life’s too short to give a damn.
Don’t focus your attention on anyone’s approval because what you truly need is to start believing and knowing that are perfect just the way you are and you should never allow anyone to tell you otherwise, not even yourself.
Be Confident. Be Yourself. Be Independent.
