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Compliments are empowering but should never be needed. I have had my fair share of self-consciousness to the point that I wouldn’t even step out of my room for not wanting to be seen for the way I felt or looked. To this day I still hold insecurities, but here’s what has changed differently. Before, I needed someone to tell me I was beautiful in order for me to get myself back up, or to truly believe it. But now, whenever I feel a doubt about my beauty, I snap myself out of it, and take control because, I don’t need a compliment from someone to help with my confidence anymore.  Try not to misunderstand my point. I actually encourage people to give compliments, but if compliments are the only thing that can get our self-confidence back, then we become slaves to compliments, better yet, dependent on them. The moment we know the beauty within ourselves even before compliments (but still accept them), that is when you are no longer dependent on compliments. You don’t need your friend to tell you that “he’s not good enough for you” or that “it’s his loss” and you don’t need your boyfriend to tell you, “you’re prettier than her” or… View Post

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I remember listening to preacher, Joyce Meyer, being blunt and honest about hearing people’s testimonies. Joyce mentioned that when she was younger, she found it hard to be happy for the people around her that were continuously being blessed. She would try so hard to be happy for her friends, but couldn’t however much she tried. She finally realized when she took a look at her own life, that she was not happy with herself. Sometimes we find ourselves resenting people for their success and happiness when it all starts with our own happiness. As I began to look at my own life, I realized in order to be happy for others, I would have to start by being happy with myself. The same way goes for love because you can never truly love someone, until you start loving yourself first, before anything. I found it extremely difficult to truly be happy for others and to be honest, It made me feel more content to hear their failures rather than their testimonies. I can already hear the many people reading this and thinking “What the hell is wrong with this girl”. But you have to truly ask yourself, have you never… View Post

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|INDEPENDENCE| Not surprisingly, in my first blog we’re going to discuss independence and why it is a crucial characteristic to have. I have found myself dependent on many things that have failed me in the past. The moment I found true independence was not in a blissful state of mind, but in a lonely dark stage of my life where I truly lost myself. Pretty much every girl experiences heartbreaks, either from a boyfriend, crush, best friend, family member, or even a stranger. Not my first, but my biggest heartbreak came from a friend. I put all my dependence on that one friend and felt secure with him. Once he had gotten into a relationship, he had ended his friendship with me for reasons that will never justify his right to do so. That is when I completely lost myself because I lost my sense of security and togetherness. Since I had put all my trust and dependence on an imperfect person who ended up failing, I failed myself above all because I wasn’t Independent. Being independent doesn’t mean it’s a numbing remedy to hide away the hurt because that’s not what it’s for. Independence may not take away the… View Post